Saturday, September 15, 2012

Why I'm Out?

I think you deserve to know what happened to me in the past weeks and the reason also for being out of sync in the blogosphere. That always happen when my views are good and up and my ranking is good also, then all of a sudden something will definitely ruin it all.

I underwent operation last September 1, 2012. A week before the date of my operation, everything's not good about me. Mentally and emotionally I am bothered. I am not telling my husband exactly how I feel, because I know he will feel the same way.

I got a live mole at the back of my right ear. My mother had one too and we're both have the same size. After I gave birth to my second son, Tristan, this mole became obvious. It's getting bigger. My relatives were the ones who are telling me about it because they know it's usual size. After a few years, it didn't bother me at all until last August 27, 2012 when I visited a surgeon at The Medical City. He checked my mole and said it had to be removed, that was my main reason why I visited him.   He gave me a schedule on the weekend and told me that the operation won't take long and no need to worry about anything. 

What bothered me was the one he wrote on his prescription letter requesting for operation on my health insurance company. It's a medical term so I googled it and to my shock the melanoma he told me is a type of cancer. I know some of you knew that word already, but it sounded good when he told me prior to writing the request, so I didn't mind.

He wrote 'considering melanoma'. I was saddened of course but I didn't tell my husband. And to think that biopsy is still needed to really determine the cause of the mole growth. I told my husband 2 days after because my head will explode in too much worrying. I am also worrying about my Aunt who has breast cancer, I am just starting to help her through my blog, and if I will be diagnosed with cancer that would be too hard for our family to accept. Having one cancer patient in our clan, changes everything, what more if I had it too. Devastated.

To sum it all up, with the worrying and all the drama, operation done, biopsy done, and results out. Benign. 

I am so happy I cried in front of the doctor. I can't help but cry because prior to that, the waiting time was torturing me enough to have a breakdown. Still thankful to God.

I'm trying to make myself busy with writing again. But there's still sadness in me because my Aunt's condition is not getting better. Her liver and bones were affected by the tumor cells already. Her oncologist did not consider undergoing chemotherapy as it would only take her away immediately. Now, our family is hoping for a MIRACLE. I pray that the expensive No Therapeutic Claims herbal supplements that others were saying it cured them could also help her.. We just rely on HOPE, though my Aunt said last night how hard and painful and tiring she feels, she still wants to fight for her life. 

She needs more prayers. We still want her to be with us, to see her smile again, hear her laugh hard, be with her family and see her son grow and of course to be healed. Anything is possible.

Thanks for your time.


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